To love simply means that you feel that something clicks within the two of you, says Osho.
My understanding is that the woman has more capacity to create the atmosphere of caring because she is by nature programmed to be a mother. Every woman should also be a mother to her lover….
Unfortunately, the world has taken it for granted that everyone knows how to love, so no educational system, no university has courses in the art of love. It is very strange that the most important thing is neglected.
Nobody is taught the simple art of love. Because the boy cannot touch the girl, he throws a stone. At least the stone he has touched will touch the girl!
It does not appear clearly to people who don’t understand the human mind, that he is touching the girl from a distance because closeness is not allowed; he is taking the air out of her bicycle.... In fact, he wants her to be on his bicycle, but neither does he understand nor does she understand.
The problem is that society is not providing proper guidance for what you should do, and it is one of the most fundamental problems of man’s life: his sexuality, his love. Somehow he has to learn how to rise above biology. Biology remains a part — I am not against biology, but biology is very mediocre and ordinary. Some poetry, some music, some dance — and finally, some ice-cream. They are absolutely needed....
Why The Chase?
The world has been teaching girls: you should run away and allow the boys to chase you. But don’t run away so fast that they lose hope. Run away and then wait. Let them come closer and then run away and wait...finally to be caught.... It is just to give you a sense that you are responsible for whatever happens afterwards. Because the girl was running away, you chased her, you caught her. And in fact the truth is that she is managing it so that you can chase her. She is managing it so that you can catch her. So she remains higher than you and she will remind you again and again, “I was not after you, you were after me.”
But there is no need for chasing and being caught. People should be more understanding and approach each other saying, “I have something in my heart that starts dancing when I come close to you. If you also have something of the same, perhaps we can have a few days....” And life is not so long!
Be authentic and say to a man or a woman, “I love you. I like your eyes; I like your face.... That does not mean that I will like everything of you, but I will try to avoid those things. If you have any sensitivity for me, I am available. I don’t ask for your totality nor should you ask for my totality.”
That’s what you are asking: totality. Poor human beings cannot be total; and things go on changing. Today what seems to be great love will not look so great tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow, it will be ordinary repetition and you will start looking here and there for how to have that great totality again.
The Great Illusion
There is no totality; there is only illusion of totality in life. The man of intelligence understands that life is not perfect and is not meant to be perfect. It is imperfect. We are all imperfect beings. So although there may be nooks and corners which you don’t like about a person, there may be things that you do like.... Don’t wait for a dream girl. Be more realistic and try to understand that everybody has faults, and to love someone does not mean that you have to change that person. To love that person does not mean that you have to destroy his freedom.
To love simply means that you feel that something clicks within the two of you. As long as that dance within your heart remains, good.
My understanding is that the woman has more capacity to create the atmosphere of caring because she is by nature programmed to be a mother. Every woman should also be a mother to her lover….
Unfortunately, the world has taken it for granted that everyone knows how to love, so no educational system, no university has courses in the art of love. It is very strange that the most important thing is neglected.
Nobody is taught the simple art of love. Because the boy cannot touch the girl, he throws a stone. At least the stone he has touched will touch the girl!
It does not appear clearly to people who don’t understand the human mind, that he is touching the girl from a distance because closeness is not allowed; he is taking the air out of her bicycle.... In fact, he wants her to be on his bicycle, but neither does he understand nor does she understand.
The problem is that society is not providing proper guidance for what you should do, and it is one of the most fundamental problems of man’s life: his sexuality, his love. Somehow he has to learn how to rise above biology. Biology remains a part — I am not against biology, but biology is very mediocre and ordinary. Some poetry, some music, some dance — and finally, some ice-cream. They are absolutely needed....
Why The Chase?
The world has been teaching girls: you should run away and allow the boys to chase you. But don’t run away so fast that they lose hope. Run away and then wait. Let them come closer and then run away and wait...finally to be caught.... It is just to give you a sense that you are responsible for whatever happens afterwards. Because the girl was running away, you chased her, you caught her. And in fact the truth is that she is managing it so that you can chase her. She is managing it so that you can catch her. So she remains higher than you and she will remind you again and again, “I was not after you, you were after me.”
But there is no need for chasing and being caught. People should be more understanding and approach each other saying, “I have something in my heart that starts dancing when I come close to you. If you also have something of the same, perhaps we can have a few days....” And life is not so long!
Be authentic and say to a man or a woman, “I love you. I like your eyes; I like your face.... That does not mean that I will like everything of you, but I will try to avoid those things. If you have any sensitivity for me, I am available. I don’t ask for your totality nor should you ask for my totality.”
That’s what you are asking: totality. Poor human beings cannot be total; and things go on changing. Today what seems to be great love will not look so great tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow, it will be ordinary repetition and you will start looking here and there for how to have that great totality again.
The Great Illusion
There is no totality; there is only illusion of totality in life. The man of intelligence understands that life is not perfect and is not meant to be perfect. It is imperfect. We are all imperfect beings. So although there may be nooks and corners which you don’t like about a person, there may be things that you do like.... Don’t wait for a dream girl. Be more realistic and try to understand that everybody has faults, and to love someone does not mean that you have to change that person. To love that person does not mean that you have to destroy his freedom.
To love simply means that you feel that something clicks within the two of you. As long as that dance within your heart remains, good.
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